The Way He Laughs
by Deadly Poppy
Summary: It happened the moment she realized that he really loved her. At that moment, as she watched him walk back to the Gryffindor common room, holding himself together very tightly, she realized it. James loved her. And she loved him too.
1. Chapter 1

"Evans," James said nonchalantly, falling into stride next to Lily.

"Potter," she said in an impassive voice.

"Why won't you go out with me?" he asks, referring to the many times he'd asked her to Hogsmeade, or even to come to the library with him. And she'd declined.

"Because you're an arrogant jerk."

"Yes," he agreed. "But why won't you go out with me?"

She stopped abruptly, looking into his eyes. "Because I don't_ like_ you," she said evenly.

"You know," he replied, still speaking conversationally. "They say that love can often be misconstrued ad loathing."

"I don't _love_ you, Potter!" she said angrily, her eyes narrowing. "I don't even_ like_ you! I will never like you! So quit wasting your time and go chase after some other girl, because there are plenty of them begging you to!"

And that's when it happened. Or maybe a moment after that. It was just about the time he let his shield down, and she got a glimpse into his soul. His eyes, so sad.

It happened when she saw how upset she'd made him. Yelling at him like that had nearly broken his heart. Why hadn't she seen it before?

It happened the moment she realized that he really love her.

At that moment, as she watched him walk back to the Gryffindor common room, holding himself together very tightly, she realized it.

James loved her.

And she loved him too.


	2. Chapter 2

She spent all of the next day trying to catch his eye.

She wasn't sure what they were supposed to be changing their goblets into in Transfiguration.

She wasn't sure if she made a love potion or a deadly poison in potions.

She couldn't remember seven times seven in Arithmacy.

And most of all, she couldn't remember why she had ever not liked James Potter.

He had the most amazing hazel eyes. And the cutest untidy black hair. And he was always so light and carefree.

And he loved her.

After her train wreck of a class schedule, Lily headed into the Gryffindor common room, ignoring concerned looks and comments from her best friends Alice and Andromeda.

She wasn't sure what she was going to say. She didn't think she could very well go up to him and say that that she was in love with him.

Maybe she should apologize for yelling at him. Yeah, that could be a good idea.

When she got into the common room, she saw James, looking miserable, just as he had in all the classes they had together. He was surrounded by his best friends. James very pointedly didn't look at her. Sirius looked angry. Remus looked disappointed. And Peter looked a little scared.

She couldn't take it. They all looked so upset. She had done this to him. She remembered the last prank she had pulled, on Frank Longbottom. He had laughed so carelessly. She wished he would laugh now. She would give anything for him to laugh now.

Without a word, she walked through the common room and flopped onto her bed, tears streaming from her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

"Stop doing this to yourself," Sirius had said. "It's not worth it," he had said.

Why hadn't James listened to him? The only answer he could come up with was that he was masochistic. But she had always been nearly civil to him. But he had apparently pressed one button too many this time.

He had worn through her last nerve.

He had been in love with her since he met her.

Wait, scratch that.

First year, he wasn't in love with her, he simply thought she was beautiful.

Second year, he wasn't in love with her, he simply realized how smart she was.

Third year, he wasn't in love with her, he simply realized how kind she was to everyone.

Fourth year, he wasn't in love with her, he just realized how perfect she was.

Fifth year, he started to notice her flaws. How adorable they were.

Sixth year was when he fell. And he fell hard. He realized he could notice everything about her. She bit her thumbnail when she was nervous. When she was angry, her eyebrows pulled together. When she was concentrating, she didn't notice the way her hair slowly inched forward, until it was covering whatever she was reading.

Seventh year, well, he was gone. He was past being able to get over her. He was past caring what anyone else thought. He was past noticing any girl but her.

And now, she hated him.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed her enter the common room. He didn't look at her. He refused to let her see how upset he'd made her. He was sure he had done a good job of hiding it.

I desperately wanted to go say something to her. Say hello, or maybe ask her about our homework. Anything to hear her voice. I'd been avoiding her, and anytime she was near me, she'd gotten very quiet.

"Ignore her Prongs," Sirius said under his breath, not looking at me. All I could see was the back of my best friend's heads, and I realized they'd all turned to look at her. She looked away, and I could swear I saw tears in her eyes as ran up to the girl's dorm.


	4. Chapter 4

The tears were flowing freely now that she was alone.

"How could I be so stupid?" she asked herself out loud.

"You could never be stupid," a familiar voice said. "It's physically impossible."

Being Head Girl, Lily said the first thing that popped into her mind. "How did you get into the girl's dorm?"

A smile flickered across his face, but just as quickly as it had come, it was gone. "I have my ways," he said simply.

"What do you want James?" she asked.

"First names?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Would you prefer Potter?" Lily asked, wiping a tear from my eye.

"I don't really care, but this way, I can say Lily as much as I want."

She laughed humorlessly.

"Lily, Lily, Lily. It's a beautiful name," he said lightly. "It suits you," he added, looking into my eyes.

Lily smiled in spite of herself. "Thanks."

"I'm sorry if I annoy you," he said, and Lily could see the pain in his eyes. "I don't mean to. I just can't help but ask you out. You look so beautiful, it would be a shame if someone didn't."

He hadn't smiled or laughed or said one bit or it sarcastically. Lily was touched.

He turned to leave, and without thinking about the repercussions, Lily got off her bed and put her hand on his shoulder.

He turned to face her, and she leaned forward slowly until their lips met.

Pulling away, James was grinning like an idiot.

"Took you long enough to realize you love me," he said with a lopsided grin.

He laughed, and Lily felt her whole body warm up at the sound.


End file.
